Be Your Own Valentine
Valentine’s Day my loves. In the spirit of this day, I wanted to share my thoughts on relationships and love. Namely, self-love. I think that this type of love is too often neglected on a day like today. Sure, there’s galentine’s, the saying “treat yo’ self” and dozens of alternate ways people acknowledge Valentine’s Day. Yet with Valentine’s Day comes another band of negative, bitter people which raises the question: Why do these people turn a day of love into resentment? I believe Valentine’s Day should be celebrated by anyone and everyone. Why? That is because chances are that you are surrounded by loved ones, even if you are single. If not, you have yourself which is just as great. Don’t stress if you haven’t found the one. The only one you need is yourself. On that note, I’ve compiled a list of ways you can love yourself a little bit more this Valentine’s Day. I hope this serves as a reminder to love yourself regardless of if you spend your day with your sweetheart or if you are feeling “forever alone”. (FYI. I don’t like that term)
Before we begin I want to clarify. I am indeed in a fulfilling and committed relationship. I do intend on celebrating today with my man. However, I believe it’s essential to love yourself first before you can love someone else fully. I look at our relationship as two wholes complimenting one another as opposed to halves making one whole. I am happy with him and without him. (Though I always love his company as he is my best friend and love.)
Now let’s get into it, shall we?
Take Time to Be with Yourself
This was probably the hardest one for me on the list. When I began living alone, I felt lonely. I was used to always having a parent or friend around my home/apartment so it was an adjustment. Feeling so lonely was terrible and I would feel so left out because my friends were just far enough that I couldn’t always join them. I struggled with this feeling for quite a while jumping from being content with myself to being hungry for social interactions.
That’s when I began to slowly embrace the solitude. I realized at the end of the day, I am all I have. I need to be comfortable in my own skin and learn to be content with myself. If you ever feel lonely or anxious about being left out, you aren’t alone. In an age of social media, FOMO is prevalent in our culture. I decided to turn these negative associations into positive ones:
First, I wasn’t lonely. I was spending quality time on myself. Second, I wasn’t missing out. I was right where I needed to be. I put my phone down (other than googling and watching random short documentaries) and began to invest time in myself, hobbies and skills I wanted to learn.
It’s okay to be in solitude. Some of my happiest moments arise just from learning a new skill at home or lounging around just reading a book. Work on yourself or take time to relax and enjoy the peace associated with being on your own. I promise it’s the foundation to being confident and assured in yourself as you begin to learn more about yourself in these moments.
Be Responsible for your Own Happiness
I think a lot of people focus on finding the one in hopes that they’ll be happier. To which I say, no way! Don’t wait for someone to come along and sweep you off your feet. Go out and do the things that make you happy. Never let any relationship hold you back from experiences you seek to have. Depending on someone else won’t ever sustain your happiness. True happiness comes from within. So take time to do the things that make you fulfilled. You deserve it.
Even if you are in a relationship, I believe that you should be happy within first. That way you can share your happiness and love with others. As the saying goes misery loves company. Would you really want to attract someone who is a negative nelly or a vibrant person with a bright outlook on life?
Your Body is a Temple
This morning I had a conversation with my love and he told me that he was too busy with life to love himself. Of course, it was a comment that came without much thought. I had to point out the many ways he too shows himself love. Your health and mind carry you through life. I reminded him that he is diligent and takes care of himself. As do I.
Take time out to focus on your health. Eat your vegetables, go on a walk/gym, or meditate (Headspace is my favorite). Even taking a multi-vitamin or sleeping earlier are all tiny ways you can treat yourself a little better. A simple skincare or hair routine can give yourself the time and attention you deserve. Treat yourself to a bath bomb or exfoliate with a shower jelly. Any small steps to better your mind and body can really change your relationship with yourself. Trust me.
Accept yourself: flaws and all. It’s okay if you want to make features better or enhance them but you should do it for yourself not for validation from others. Love your body and treat it well.
Be Kind to Yourself
Last but not least: be kind to yourself. Try not to be too hard on yourself and celebrate your victories. Try not to beat yourself up if things don’t go the way you hoped. As long as you push forward and keep growing. Learn from your mistakes and vow to always try to keep getting better. Personal growth and reflection are great ways to tackle any negative thoughts about yourself. Change your perspective and you will change your life (even if it’s as simple as not getting angry with yourself).
I’ve come to realize that all the stress, anxiety and self-depreciation don’t build you up. They only break you down so I’ve begun to remind myself to take time out of my day to celebrate small victories and to reflect on any speed bumps along the way.
I hope you have a day filled with love and happiness. Take some time out to love yourself and have an amazing Valentine's Day because you deserve it!
Until next time,