All this change has got me feeling different. How so? In a variety of ways. I have realized that I have changed so much in the past few years. Looking back, I don’t really recognize myself anymore. I’ve been too busy trying to please everyone around me that I stopped doing the things that bring me joy. Is that something we all do at some point? Your interests combine with someone else and you pick and choose pieces of yourself to make things “fit.” That combined with a move, grad school and new surroundings has made the change stark. I miss the old me in some ways. However, I am a firm believer in moving forward. Yet, there is no harm in picking up old passions, activities and interests again.
I am a girl with a lot of interests, even some conflicting ones. For one, I love cute things but I also love morbid topics and find them truly fascinating. What else? I sing but I haven’t been prioritizing it these days. I used to be pretty good, honestly, and I miss making music. I love going to concerts and never felt like I could share those experiences here for some reason. (I even was one of those kids hanging out at basement shows back at Rutgers- New Brunswick.) I have always been drawn to the arts and used to dance, draw and paint. If I make time in the future, I might pick these things back up and share some bits and pieces. My style has also evolved. Thank goodness but I do miss some of my older sporty/grittier looks pre-blogging days. I love changing it up and I will be doing so even more now.
I was always afraid of sharing these less than cookie cutter perfect parts of myself online for fear that it wouldn’t fit a niche so I conformed. I don’t think that was the best move in hind sight. I want to be unapologetically me in real life and online. I’d love to just laugh together about self-depreciating humor and memes on Twitter or even have a jam session on Instagram Live (I’ll take song requests). I’m tired of having two sides. It’s time to drop the persona and just be Christine. Who is she? I’m not sure because she’s currently reinventing herself to be the truest and most unapologetically herself yet. For those who have known me for years in real life, this is more of a return to who I was (a homecoming of sorts). For those of you who are new, this will be a change of pace. I hope it is a positive change in which you can all relate and connect to more and more.
Have you been feeling a little different as of late? Are you also trying to get things back on track? I’m here to say you aren’t alone. I’m right here going through that transition with you. If you’re in the process, trust it. Nothing in life comes easy but this will be so worthwhile in the end. Keep going.
P.S. shop the outfit & makeup below